28 May 2009

Cottage Renovations 101

So this week the craft is on the back burner. Well, the kinda craft that floats my boat anyway. This week I've downed tools, screen printing stylie, and picked up the cordless drill, industrial vacuum cleaner and crow bar and have been get down and dirty with the tradies. Oh yes, the old girl is having a bit of a makeover... New roof, new bathroom, new kitchen... Hell, she's even getting a new dunny.

You know, when you first buy an old house, there's a sort of romance about it... you know, you have these delusions of grandeur about how much fun its going to be, you use phrases like 'a labour of love', that sort of thing. Let me tell you about my first two days of renovations:

1) Within 30 minutes of ripping the first lot of iron off, we discovered: several dead birds, a dead possum, five huntsman spiders, an old gumboot that was probably home to the said huntsman family, a kitty litter tray, telephone wires that seem to go nowhere, enough hay and birds nests to make about five bales, and three inches of dust. Thats only in 2 rooms, there's another 5 to go.

2) We need to wear respiratory masks, you know the kind with the two filters near the mouth that seem to be the fashion of guerillas and terrorists worldwide. Apparently bird shit and hay in monstrous proportions is the new asbestos.
3) After cleaning out that first room, there was enough old shingles, various carcasses, hay and nests to make one killer of a bonfire. Its the warmest I've been since owning this house.

4) I've discovered the benefits of work trousers. There's the neoprene knees that make kneeling on the those rafters just a bit easier, there's pockets for all my tools (not that I own that many, but I borrowed so I still looked cool), and they make my arse look pretty good.

5) I've started to use terms like 'cladding', 'phillips head' and 'fits like a bum in a bucket' with alarming ease. Tradie lingo is catching.

6) I've become reaquainted with LA FM, and the quality hits they keep churning out. Madonna, Kylie, Oasis what have you. They're all there, and being played.
and 7) I was seriously tempted to pack an esky and thermos for my lunch, but then I thought that was just a bit ridiculous considering I still have an operational kitchen.

Stay tuned for bathroom adventures starting next week!


  1. Good post, keep it coming.

  2. Brilliant Eve .. or is it Evo-mate! The shingles are gorgeous! ... please don't save me any guano though ... I dare you to pack the thermos and wear trousers that show your tradie's crack and therefore give the locals somewhere to park their bike!

  3. Hi there,

    will be reading your renovation posts with great interest as I have a mad fantasy that involves ripping off the back of my old cottage.

    And love to see the Launceston Brown Owls - I wish I still lived there!